We haven't seen this as much as of late, but please, if you are going to have an aisle runner, teach the guys how to pull it correctly. It never fails, they don't know how to work it and they spend 10 uncomfortable minutes trying to get the sides to work at the same time for it to unroll. And your guests just sit and watch. Either have it already placed on the floor or just get rid of it altogether.
Photo courtesy of Simple Color Photography
I thought I would post one of John's tips. He likes to add his two cents every so often. I am not sure how I feel about, "Hey, you, turn around! I can't see!" I don't mind it, it works well for video and the audience, but it might be too untraditional for me to start a revolution about it. Maybe I will just be pleasantly surprised when it happens.
We have had several couples turn toward the audience, with the officiant standing between them and the audience. You are able to see their faces more and you don't spend 35 minutes staring at the back of the bride's dress. So sure it has its advantages and we have seen it grow in popularity in the past year - just something to think about. What do you think about it?
Photo courtesy of Simple Color Photography
We have already established that I am not the most traditional gal. I appreciate tradition, especially when it comes to weddings, but sometimes I don't think you have to follow it all of the time. Take for instance my next tip, Fill 'er up.
Sometimes you have a bride that is from the city in which the wedding is taking place, and the groom is not. When this occurs, you tend to have more people to come and want to sit on the "bride's side" at the church. So the ushers fill up the entire left side with her friends/family. But on the "groom's side", you don't have near as many people. So it looks lopsided. Even though it shouldn't matter, I wonder if it ever makes the parents of the less attended side feel bad.
My solution? Have your ushers seat the guests evenly. Some people will still want to sit on the traditional side, but for those who don't care, use them to even it out. I know for video, it will look better. I love how this trend has become more popular in recent years.
Photo courtesy of Unplugged Photography
The other month, I attended a meeting of local bridal consultants. At this meeting, a DJ was speaking to the planners about certain issues that arise at a wedding on the entertainment side. He brought up some concerns that I have never thought about, so I am bringing them to you, in case it has slipped your mind as well. (Please note: As always, if you hire a professional wedding planner, they will know all of these tips, so you won’t have to.)
If you hire a band for your wedding, you will need a master of ceremony of sorts. Some bands don’t mind announcing your bridal party’s entrance, or directing your guests to the cake cutting. But what if your band is one of those that only plays music and refuses to make any announcements. Who will be left to hold the microphone?
Professional DJs already have the ability to take the reigns at the reception. They do it all of the time. They are there to help with the flow of the reception or take instruction from the wedding planner on the timeline, as well as get everyone on the dance floor. They also can play the music during the band’s break time, so that your dance floor is always hoppin’. And unlike your Aunt Sally, have experience talking on a microphone and not (hopefully) sounding silly.
We have an example from the beginning of this year. Amazing wedding, planner, band, videographer, everything, but several days before the wedding, it was realized that the band would not be in charge of announcements at the reception. Although there was a planner involved, she had more important things to attend to, so she was not going to be able to take the mic. Thankfully, the couple had rented a photo booth (brought it by a local DJ who happens to be a Master of Ceremony), and he was able to step in and make all of the announcements for the evening. He was able to sound knowledgeable and professional, which was appreciated by the bride and groom and their families.
Another example actually happened again this past weekend. The venue had arranged that during the band's breaks that we would do the major events of the reception (cake cutting, bouquet and garter, etc). Well the band was on a break, so they were not going to be around to count the toss down or ask for the single ladies. The venue planner didn't want to talk into the microphone, we were working, so after a few polite requests, one of the band members agreed to skip his break and help with the mic.
Bands and DJs can work in conjunction with each other nicely. I am not saying you shouldn’t hire your favorite band just because they refuse to be in charge of the announcements, but be aware.
Photo Courtesy of Simple Color
Remember to take the barcode stickers off the bottom of your new toasting glasses. I would have never thought about this one, but I saw it the other day in our raw footage! No, it doesn’t ruin the day if you forget, but you might get a picture of it!
Photo courtesy of Allison Lewis Photography
You can have the most beautiful bride, bridesmaid, whoever on the wedding day, in a fabulous strapless dress, the perfect shot set up with the sun giving a nice sunburst on your lens, a little wind rustling the trees, and what happens? The girl hikes her dress up (to keep the chest area from getting too low). Shot ruined.
The popularity of strapless dresses for both a wedding dress and/or bridesmaid dress has grown tremendously over the last several years. And I agree, they are beautiful! But please use some sticky dress tape and secure the dress to your body. Now you won't have to spend all day adjusting yourself. Less hassle for you, better shots for us!
In case you would like to rush out right now and buy some sticky tape for your dress, here is a link! http://www.amazon.com/Hollywood-Fashion-Tape-Wedding-Apparel/dp/B000H3WNXM
Photo of our cute bride and groom courtesy of Admoni Photography
Take the time to thank your wedding day vendors if they did a great job (which they should have!!). A simple thank-you note (along with the hundreds more that you have to do) is not something that most brides do, but is very special. There are also several sites (like weddingwire.com) that you can use to rate your vendors. Those sites can help other brides decide who is right for their wedding.
You can even take this picture and print out note cards to use as your thank you cards! How cute would that be!!
See Each Other Before the Wedding
Yes, this is one of the most controversial topics, and I guess I understand why. I really am a pretty traditional girl, but when it comes to breaking this tradition, I am all for it.
We hear lots of reasons why a couple wants to see each other before the ceremony starts and even more about waiting.
The biggest reason for waiting is that a couple doesn't want to take anything away from the magic of the moment when the doors of the church first open and he is standing up at the alter and she is walking down the aisle. When you think about your ceremony, this is usually the moment people think of - that emotional walk down the aisle.
The reasons for seeing each other before are obvious - more time with the photographer and videographer, less stress than trying to get all of the formal pictures taken after the ceremony (while your guests are waiting on you at the reception), to calm your nerves, less hysterical crying at the altar (there are still a lot of emotional tears by both the bride and groom, but less sobbing heard on the microphone) - these are just a few examples that we find.
When you choose to see each other before, typically what happens is that the photographer recreates the moment for you by setting up a few minutes of alone time in the sanctuary of the church or some other meeting location. Your groom is waiting for you at the altar and you take your walk down to him. He turns around to see you, and this wave of emotion hits both of you. It is real and true and documented by your photographer and videographer (if you so choose). You are in a world that no one else exists at that moment. It is just you and your groom (and discrete cameras). You show him your dress, your hair, and makeup. You cry, he cries. Sometime during this, all photographers and videographers will quietly leave the area and it will just be you two alone, taking it all in. This precious moment of pure emotion is documented for all time.
My personal reason that I was glad that John and I chose to see each other before the wedding is that he is my rock. You have this very stressful day, it is nerve-wracking, crazy, everything. If it was any other day, who would be the first person you would want to talk to about it? Your fiance. It is almost inhumane to take him away from you on such a crazy day. So on our wedding day, I was stressed and nervous and worried, but then I saw him, talked with him, hugged him, kissed him (my rock), and I was calmer. Then I could stand in front of hundreds of people for the ceremony. Then when you walk down the aisle, you might still cry, but you don't have the flood of tears.
And you know, we hear on the groom's mic for the camera that he is still is overwhelmed by seeing you. He still gasps.
Photo courtesy of Simple-Color Photography.
Parking
As with all of these tips, a professional wedding planner will be able to handle all of these issues. So please HIRE one! But in case you didn't...
Photo courtesy of Jessica Wright Photography
Think about your reception as if you were a guest. How is the parking at your venue? Most churches have adequate parking, but what about your reception venue? Will your guests need to park several blocks away? What about grandparents and your older friends/family? Will they be able to walk the distance? Does it have enough outside light? A lot of single women attend weddings by themselves or in a group of girlfriends - will they feel safe walking out to their car after the reception is over (or before it is over when fewer people are outside)? What if rain is forecasted? Having extra umbrellas might be nice.
I don't think that, if the parking situation is inadequate, it should affect your decision on the venue, but it is something that you should ask the facility. Some venues provide golf carts to carry guests back and forth to their cars. Maybe valet parking is a must. Or maybe have a "bulky" (sober) groomsmen help people get to their car safely. Just have a plan.
Do you have friends that have gotten married recently? They might be a good resource for planning your wedding. Sure, they probably gave you their HUGE stash of wedding magazines, but they have something else that you don't have. Experience.
Photo courtesy of Allison Lewis Photography
Now don't get all mad at me. You are the only one that knows exactly what you want for your wedding day, but there is something to be said for your friend already going through the process. That is the main reason for this blog. This is typically your first time planning an event of this caliber and you can only do it once.
What did your friend do that she would do different? What things didn't she do that she wishes she had done? I talk with a huge number of girls who regret not hiring a videographer for their wedding. What are some other things?
Ask as many of your friends that you can. Learn from them and more importantly, implement them into your big day.
I don't plan on writing much for this tip. Just watch the raw footage. Sometimes groomsmen can get out of hand at a wedding. Think about who you choose to stand by your side.
Thanks to the families of this bride and groom who were willing to let us use this clip as a training tool for future brides.
Photo courtesy of J.Woodbury Photography, Makeup by Raw Beauty, Hair by Jessica Lazarus.
I was pretty stubborn back in 2000 when John and I were getting married. It was suggested that I hire someone to do my makeup. But I couldn't understand why I would pay someone to do something that I could already do. But after the ceremony when I had a tear streaked face for all of our pictures, I was really wishing that a makeup artist was standing on the side to refresh my face. John says it is sweet that all of our formal pictures look like I had been crying, but I am not sure that I agree.
I am sure that there are varying degrees of service that the makeup artists offer. I don't know pricing, but I do know that it will be worth it so that you can have beautiful photos hanging on your wall forever and ever.
These days I am happy to report that most of our brides have someone that who does their makeup for them. They are all so much smarter than I was fourteen years ago!
I always think it is so neat when a couple provides some sort of entertainment for their littlest guests. There is one major wedding consulting business in town that provides all sorts of services for kids - from babysitting to fun games. I think they even have tea parties!
Also, some DJs offer Playstation or Wii game consoles for the kids. Very fun! And from the parent perspective, it is very cool that I don't have to worry about entertaining my kid when trying to socialize with my friends.
Thanks to Meredith Ryncarz for the image
I have heard that some venues offer a slight discount for getting married on a Friday or Sunday, or even something crazy like, getting married in the middle of the week. This might help you to be able to book the venue that you just love but can't afford.
Ten years ago, John and I got married on a Saturday morning. It was great for us, mainly because of what the end of my last post said, I like to sleep. But our venue gave us a discount because they could double book our day and have another wedding that night. It also allowed us to be able to serve lighter food, which saved on our budget. That savings we were able to apply to have some amazing florals!
We had a bride one Spring that did a Sunday morning wedding. Perfect weather, brunch style food and mimosas. I don't know if it was cheaper than a full dinner with roast and all of that (or even if that was her intention), but I suspect it might have been. Mimosas have to be cheaper and because it was early in the day, guests didn't drink as much. And it was fun!
Source: bklynstitch.blogspot.com via Margot on Pinterest
Thanks to Unplugged Photography for this image.
I have heard that you can really get some great deals flying out of Atlanta for your honeymoon. What a great resource we have just a few hours away. When planning your honeymoon, please keep a few things in mind. (As always, I am sure that there is a travel specialist that would be able to help you with all of these details.)
If you plan to have your wedding start at 6:00 p.m. and party until 11:00 or 12:00, you might not get back to your honeymoon suite until really late. Don't forget to enjoy the champagne and strawberries that some hotels provide. When your alarm clock goes off at 4:00 a.m. so that you can drive to Atlanta to catch your "great deal" of a flight, you might be rethinking your decision.
Maybe there is a later flight, maybe you can find one out of Birmingham to save on drive time. We have even had clients that waited until Monday to leave on their honeymoon. They were able to have breakfast in bed on Sunday, lay out by the pool and relax before driving to Atlanta to catch their flight. I thought it was a great idea.
Maybe I just like sleep.
This whole blog is more about personal opinion and experience from what we see at weddings. My wedding planner friends might cringe at some of my suggestions as they might not be proper, but this is supposed to be insider tips.
Many brides choose to have a unity candle during their ceremony. When it comes to the lighting of the unity candle, a beautiful song is played or sung during this time. Unfortanately, the song is sometimes 5 times the length of time that it takes you to walk over and light the candle. It is just awkward. You stand there for 3 minutes looking at each other wondering what you are supposed to be doing. Maybe you are supposed to be doing something - I really don't know - do you walk back up to the front by the minister, do you stand there and looking lovingly into each other's eyes?
For a formal ceremony, there might not be anything you can do about this. (Ask the wedding planner). It is not like you can ask the soloist to shorten The Lord's Prayer that she is singing! But the string musicians might be able to play a shortened version of their song. I don't know, just a thought.
The problem occurs more with the casual outdoor ceremony. I don't know if it is because there is typically a smaller space to walk, thus taking less time or if the casual setting makes it seem like you stand there forever. If you have a song that you are going to ask the venue or the DJ to play during the lighting of the unity candle, consider shortening the song prior to the wedding. If done correctly, most guests won't even notice that the middle of the song was taken out. (Your videographer can also provide this song-shortening service - we often do it in the course of editing...) I guess you also could get the DJ to just fade the song after you light the candle and are back at the minister.
The same philosophy can be applied to the first dances. Do you hate being the center of attention? What about the groom? Maybe your parents might have difficulty dancing due to age or illness. You want to celebrate with the traditional dances, but maybe it might be easier on them if it was to a shorter song.
I am sure that a professional DJ will see that you are struggling and shorten it automatically or it could even be covered in your 1st meeting with them, but if it isn't, please know that it is ok and maybe appreciated.
Photo courtesy of Jerrod Brown Studios
We are wedding film makers. It is our speciality. It is what we have spent the last eleven years perfecting. It is our craft. It is what we live and breathe.
But consider this...... what if I can make an amazing birthday cake for my 6 year old? Should I start offering wedding cakes as part of our video packages? More than likely, it would turn out to be a disaster and here's why. What about when I am trying to put the final touches on the icing, and you are putting on your dress? Do I not get coverage of you getting ready? That wouldn't be very fair to you that I missed the amazing moment when you realized that you really were an official bride!
My example might be a little extreme, but I would like to get the point across that you should pick vendors that specialize in what you are hiring them for. Just because I can bake a pretty decent cake doesn't mean that I would be able to have the knowledge of transporting it to the venue without dropping it, icing it so that it doesn't melt, or have the business license to even bake it (if that is a requirement for their industry - I really have no clue).
People who offer items outside their expertise can be compared to a shopping experience at Walmart. Hang with me here... Say you need a new pair of reading glasses. You can buy them at Walmart for a really great price but you are not going to have anyone with enough savvy to be able to help you pick out the frame that looks best on you. The best place to go is somewhere that has both the experience and knowledge to fit you with the perfect pair of glasses. Yes, it might cost you a little bit more, but you are gaining the customer service that only the speciality store can give you. In the end you overpaid for the glasses at Walmart (even if they were cheaper) because you're not going to enjoy them, you're not going to wear them and all you'll have left is a headache.
When considering a service from a particular vendor, ask yourself if that vendor considers the service just a product that they sell, or is it a craft? As you search out the perfect partners in the seamingly endless sea of options, you will find plenty of one-stop-shopping approaches to doing business. There will be some vendors that offer everything you'll need for your big day minus the groom, and the prices will be lower. When you find that, ask yourself why that is. As consumers we put up with the lack of service in exchange for lower prices at America's big box retailers. Follow that philosophy on your wedding day and you'll end up in a beautiful dress looking for someone to point you to housewares.
Rachael Grammer with Two Hearts Weddings pins on a boutonniere for a groom. Thank goodness she was there, because the default person when there is not a planner is the photographer/videographer. Scary. Photo courtesy of Gretchen B Photography.
You decided not to "waste" money by hiring a professional wedding planner. After all, you have done most of the wedding planning already and your mom will be able to help out the day of. Maybe your reception venue also provides someone to assist.
This is what we see when the wedding day arrives: Mom is running around crazy because she is trying to get herself dressed, you in your dress (and can't figure out how to do those loops on the dress with her new manicure), checking to make sure that the groom has arrived, all while keeping with the time schedule. But wait, she isn't wearing her watch because it doesn't "go" with her dress and she doesn't have a pocket for her phone. Now you are running late. And that causes you stress. Thus the photographer is running late and having to quickly make up time on the photos, which might mean that you don't get all of the photos that you wanted. More stress.
Now onto the reception. The venue said that someone would be there to assist you. But for how long? Make sure you know what time they leave. What if they are just there for the introduction, 1st dance and cake cutting? What about the rest of the evening? Who is going to put snacks of leftover food in your get away car? What about your luggage? You and/or your mom will end up having to deal with issues that you shouldn't have to worry about the day of your wedding.
Hiring a professional wedding planner with a good reputation will be the best decision you make (other than hiring a great videographer, but we will get to that). I don't even know all of the little things that wedding planners take care of, but I do know that weddings run sooo much smoother when a professional wedding planner is there. We get better footage, the photographer gets better photos, your wedding party and guests will appreciate the organization. Let your mom be the mother of the bride, let her celebrate her daughter getting married. You, as the bride, do whatever you can so that you can enjoy the day. It really goes by so fast.
Rachael adding a last minute touch to the cake with family heirloom broaches. Photo courtesy of Marsha Perry Photography.